I’m doing it again.

I hate admitting that sometimes I let my imagination get the best of me. I went on one date with The Writer. One. I basically had an anxiety attack before the date. I had to keep myself from having another one in front of him when I woke up in his bed at 2 a.m. and remembered that I had to be up for work in 4 hours. I was sure that when I left him in the middle of the night when he was practically begging me to sleep over that he would never want to hang out with me again.

But then on Sunday afternoon, he text me and asked if I wanted to hang out when he got back from Vegas that night. I was so excited it was ridiculous. I completely changed my plans for the entire day just so I could have time to see him. And then, as can usually be expected, he flaked on me. Now, last night that didn’t bother me.

I ended up going to get a drink with my best friend and driving to WeHo to make a quick visit to The Editor’s, whom I have not seen in over a year. I had a good time. Now I remember why I liked him so much. And then after about an hour, I went to see The Barista and we hung out for the rest of the night.

Anyway, maybe its because I’ve smoked a little marijuana, but I can’t help thinking that I really like The Writer. I’ve been thinking about him a lot and really, really wanting to see him again. I even text him today, something I rarely do with guys that I’ve just started talking to. The problem is, I can’t figure out if I like him or the idea of us together. Like, he could be any good looking guy, as long as he gives me the perfect amount of attention. I don’t know how to tell them apart until I hang out with them a few times. But since he’s ignoring me, that’s kind of hard to do. I just wish I was able to stop imagining this perfect relationship when its obviously not going to happen, anytime soon at least.